19/3/18

Hi guys, I hope you’ve had a good start to the week! We are T-minus 8 college days away from the Easter holidays and you all know I could not be happier about this fact!

My day has been a little bit unproductive regarding revision but only because I had so much homework to do. Our college seems to be facing all kinds of problems recently because we had a power cut for about an hour in the morning where we all roamed around the dark corridors and sat in darker than usual classrooms and then the lights came back on but the computers and WiFi were still not working, so they had to go back to ‘old fashioned teaching’. I must tell you, the amount of teachers who made use of this expression, with raised eyebrows, waggling whiteboard markers as if they’d forgotten how to write was comical. The integration of technology in teaching, while advanced and admirable, makes me think we’re a little bit too dependent on certain things. However, they did manage to get lessons done, whether that be solely to prove that they could do it without computers or whether it was truly because after cutting back all the accessories, they could teach I guess we’ll never know.

Anyways, I’ve digressed once again. I forgot to take in my current biology flashcards so I did some Applications notes on paper which I’m hoping to transfer to my cards mostly tomorrow in my frees. I did a little bit just now too but not a huge amount. I did manage to finish all my French listening homework for Wednesday which takes some stress off me for tomorrow.

My study goals for tomorrow are:
– Work on Applications notes in my frees
– Copy up my maths statistics homework when I get home
– Make some solid progress on my French essay due in on Thursday
– Maybe start a C3 paper at some point

I was reflecting earlier today and I realised just how much I dislike college and how much this year has beaten me down. I think the only thing getting me through it right now is the fact that we only have about 3 months left. Actually in exactly 3 months from today I’ll have done the bulk of my exams and only have maybe 3 left. What a crazy thought!

I feel mentally exhausted and sad which is maybe why I’m not getting as much work done as I want to. Until exams are over I don’t think I can rest easy. I feel so ready for the rest of my life and education has become a chore. Equally though, I can’t imagine myself living through anything besides education for some reason. As down as I feel about things, in a way, I’m too used to it to be able to imagine a life without attending an institution of learning regularly.

Also, these past few years I’ve really grown in confidence, and it’s evident by the way I think and my mindset in certain situations. I know I’m sad right now but I know when it comes to it I will get my head down and get my work done. Whether I be upset through it all or not, I know I will get things done. I am also seeing myself for who I am beyond grades and standardised scores. I’ve struggled with it for a long time because I felt like all I was good at was tests but now that I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m really not that great at that, I’m learning to appreciate other aspects of my personality.

The reality and the future isn’t define by the grades that someone gets at this stage or at any stage of their life. Or certainly, I wouldn’t want to be known only for that. I want to be known because I’m (hypothetically) funny and kind and good at listening and making mean bread sticks.

I hope you’ve all enjoyed my slight tangent about self reflection. I hope you are also treating yourself as someone with many dimensions to your person as opposed to focusing too much on any specific part. Dwelling, I have learnt, will get you nowhere. I will be back tomorrow with more updates on my study life, hope you all have a wonderful day!

 

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