18/4/18

Hi guys! I am feeling slightly less cynical today, fortunately.

I have spent my day focusing on revision for the French speaking mock tomorrow by making notes on all the topics, though I haven’t had time to review all of them yet. I also think I’ve mostly got my IRP ready but I really need to learn some of the details surrounding my discussion points because I am clueless about most of the background of my topic!

While I have been quite productive today (I ended up in college about two and a half hours earlier than my lesson so I managed to get a lot done then), I am feeling a little bit fatigued in general. Certain lessons honestly bring my mood down so much because there is nothing fun to them. While others are actually really amusing and everyone is funny, some lessons are just so unbelievably boring. I have never been so excited to get rid of these lessons because it’s just such a dull atmosphere to be in and it makes the content seem boring even though most of the time it isn’t.

Nevertheless, we have to get through a few more weeks of lessons before the half term, and ultimately study leave, starts. College has been such an experience which has granted me the pleasure of meeting so many lovely new people, but equally, I don’t think I’ve ever been so stressed in my whole life. These days I feel so emotionally unstable, like I am on the verge of breaking down in tears constantly.

I hope tomorrow’s speaking mock goes well and I know my stuff better than I think I do, and after that I can just focus on the mocks next week. I know there’s still a lot to be done for them and from tomorrow I will really need to pull all my efforts together to hopefully do well.

The rest of my life is going fine. I mean, my sleeping routine is still a complete mess and my skin has truly decided to fight me like never before, but other than that, things are as they always are. I think everyone around me is really feeling the stress too, and I am looking forward to the burden of exams being offloaded.

I do, however, need to stop daydreaming about summer so much! We don’t have any specific plans as of yet but I know it’s going to be good and I can’t wait to do things like read as a leisure activity again. It’s the little things. I have started composing my summer reading list too, so it will be so nice not having any academic responsibilities and being able to relax stress-free.

My study goals for tomorrow are:
– Work on memorising my IRP research and other speaking topics for the mock
– Complete my chemistry booklets before lesson
– When I come home I need to make a revision sheet on hormones for biology because that’s a specific topic that has been confusing me throughout my revision
– Also work through some of the organic chemistry past paper packs on later topics of organic chemistry, Module 6

Also tomorrow is the dreaded clean up day! Actually it’s not so much dreaded as it is exciting because I need to clear my mind and I really think starting with my desk will be a good idea. I just need to get organised and maybe sort my folders out too, but I don’t think I’ll have time for that tomorrow.

I should go to sleep now as I’ve missed out on my lie in this week already so I don’t want to make my sleeping pattern even worse. I just yearn for a time when I can wake up not feeling tired!

Hope things are going well for you and you’re getting things done. I will speak to you all tomorrow!

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