16/5/18

Hello everyone!

So the French exam happened today. It wasn’t too bad in all honesty, but there were quite a few moments I felt like I had no idea what I was talking about. I know I didn’t smash it and it could’ve gone better, but it also could have gone much worse so I’m glad it’s over and it wasn’t atrocious. I just hope and pray that I did enough to get a good grade.

It’s nice having that stress off my shoulders now but I have a chemistry mock tomorrow and I’ve heard that it is ridiculously difficult and I don’t have the energy for it, I really don’t. On one hand I want to do well, but on the other I have gone past the point of caring now. We’ll be marking it in class anyways so I just hope we’re marking our own papers because I can’t deal with anyone seeing my embarrassing wrong answers. The thing is, I am worried I don’t know any of the content for it either, and upon doing some practice questions earlier, I realised I really need more work on certain topics.

We’ll have to take this mock as a learning experience and revise some chemistry over the weekend I guess. I also have my C2 maths resit next week which doesn’t feel real at all but I’m hoping that goes well too. I’m going to space out my revision for that over these next few days and try some of the harder papers like the IAL and IYGB papers. After doing a bit of research, I realised the extent to which the normal Edexcel papers are quite easy when compared to these purposely more difficult ones. I’m definitely going to have to do more of these for C3 and C4 as well, so I can get more comfortable with the topics. This weekend I intend to do quite a bit of maths as I feel like I’ve been neglecting that a little bit recently and I need to practice some more C3 and C4 alongside statistics.

So I’ve been doing chemistry pretty much all evening. I have an essay due in for French tomorrow but I did that yesterday, fortunately, so I don’t have to worry about that. I also have four hours free tomorrow so I’ll just be cramming more chemistry during that time. Honestly, I am just looking forward to getting it over with so I can relax a little bit. Obviously not truly relax because of exams, but not having immediate stress looming is better for my mental state.

My study goals for tomorrow are:
– Do some chemistry past paper questions tomorrow in my frees
– Complete the June 2010 past paper for statistics when I come back home
– Mark and correct the two past papers that were set as homework for maths
– Hopefully attempt a harder C2 paper

It feels like it should be much later in the week and the fact that it’s only Wednesday is a bit frustrating. I keep thinking tomorrow is Friday!

The rest of my life is going alright. It’s super late right now but it’s okay because I had a little nap earlier in the evening. Also we need to stay up to eat anyways because tomorrow is the first day of fasting! I am so excited that the blessed month of Ramadan is upon us and I hope it brings me and everyone else spiritual peace. Often I have to really sit myself down and remind myself that there are bigger things to be worried about than our everyday problems and issues. That is not to discredit any of the issues anyone faces because I think your emotions are always valid, but personally, I want to always be grateful for everything I have been blessed with and how lucky I am to be in the position I am in.

Practising gratefulness in your everyday life is really important, I think, and it puts everything into perspective a little bit more for me. I have decided to pursue medicine as a career in the hope that I can reciprocate the goodness of the hand I have been dealt. I’ve always believed it to be my duty to help others as far as I can and medicine is an excellent route to achieve that. It sounds naive and silly, as if I have no idea what I’m getting into but that’s not true. It has been an arduous journey of self discovery and I think I’m on the right path.

Now let’s just hope I can get the grades to get into university!

Well, I should go now and do a little bit more revision before we eat. I hope you have all been keeping well and trying hard to overcome any difficulties in your life at the moment. Wishing you all the best for everything going on and wishing you a blessed Ramadan too, if you celebrate it. Thanks for reading!

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