I’m back boys, stronger, fresher and better than ever!!
Here I am, sitting in bed, very early on a Friday morning, peeling the white bits off my orange so I can eat it without the strings obstructing the joy of this fun little fruit, eager to tell you about the monotony my life has consisted of these past few weeks.
Here are a series of thoughts I had throughout the exam period and the weeks leading up to it:
- Why did I choose this degree?
- I can’t revise without a quick snack!
- Why am I conforming to societal standards and subjecting myself to more institutionalisation when the last 18 years have been bad enough?
- Yeah, I have a lot to do, but damn, my wardrobe hasn’t had a deep clean since 2016… no better time than the present!
- Hey, maybe I need a snack again
- Maybe I should move to Finland?
- Maybe I need to do a randomised controlled trial to see to what extent testing indicates an accurate level of deeper understanding and learning
- I don’t remember the last time I didn’t feel guilty for doing something other than work
- Yo, I’m getting awful hungry again
All in all, not great!
Let’s diverge from the fact that maybe procrastination and my tendency to overexaggerate things were huge factors in the way I ended up feeling a lot of the time because that’s opening up a whole new can of worms and I’m not feeling very self-reflective tonight.
From the day we broke up for the winter break (pretty much the 10th of December, though that week was officially classed as a revision week) to the start of the official exam period (14th January), there were 5 long weeks. Now, I’m all for a good long holiday period, but I can’t express to you the boredom and frustration I was feeling with regards to revision by the end of this. Even more so, the only exam I had that really counted was 2 days ago, basically 7 weeks after uni finished for semester one. All I’m saying is, there’s only a certain amount of revision you can do before you want to crawl into a hole for the rest of eternity.
Honestly though, I found my exam to be a real good challenge. Something I’ve been coming to terms with recently is how much I really enjoy learning about new things, and I was thinking about how I could have chosen to do a degree in pretty much anything purely because I’m so easily impressed and find everything so riveting. A good friend of mine does materials engineering and I remember she was showing me a lab report once, based on the shape of steel beams and how their shape affects how strong they are (?? Sorry Maryam, I definitely butchered that), and I just remember contemplating on how fascinating that is! I find it so crazy that there are people who have reached unimaginable heights in their fields of crazy specific, obscure specialities. It blows my mind that everything around us has been designed specifically with a focus on making something as efficient or ideal as possible.
To tie that tangent in, I was meaning to say that the field I’ve chosen to go into is something I’m finding very interesting and cool, and my exam wasn’t that bad because it really made you think. Thinking isn’t my favourite activity but not thinking won’t get me anywhere probably.
So, I finished my orange a long time ago and I think it’s time I wrap this up now. These four days of real freedom without any work to think about are a true blessing and I have spent an awful lot of my time in bed. I do intend on getting up, getting out there and having fun with as much vigour as I put into revising but for now, I am enjoying the peace. The calm before semester two!
Thanks to anyone who read, I’ve been compelled to be a little less polite and formal here because I don’t actually think anyone is reading, but more importantly, it feels a bit forced. I can be formal when the situation calls for it, but the people who bring out the roadman in me are the real ones.
Love you all so much, hope your lives are going great and you’re thriving through winter!