Hello everyone, I hope this summer has been an exciting and fun one for you all! Unfortunately, I’ve not spent as much time on my blog as I hoped to, which has been due to a lot of mixed feelings and general epiphanies I’ve been coming to recently. My thoughts feel really jumbled at the moment, but as soon as I find a way to categorise, compartmentalise and articulate my feelings, I will hopefully share them with you.
I wanted to do something a little bit lighthearted today, and seeing as though university application season is pretty much upon us, I thought it might be fun to look back on my personal statement and react to it, in a way. We’ll be coming up to two years since I wrote this soon, and I guess it’ll be interesting to see what I think of my own thoughts now.
[I have shown myself to be a] quick, decisive thinker
Just so you know, I can’t even decide what I want to eat for dinner, let alone thinking rational thoughts in high pressure situations… I cannot express to you in adequate words how indecisive I am. I think the fear of making the wrong decision would only be amplified in a career that demands you to take responsibility and make choices that could be the difference between life and death for patients (this is an over-dramatisation though, I’m sure I’ll be qualified before I make any such decisions). This is honestly just funny for me to look back on because I don’t think nervous 18 year old Malaikah even believed this about herself, in spite of her optimism.
Although, for the record, I did follow this up with an example of the (one) time I was thinking on my feet, so my claims weren’t unjustified, even if they were a bit of a stretch.
Yoga is a personal passion of mine
Yes, for your information, I was quite the sportsperson. I won’t lie, I did enjoy yoga at the time of writing this, but it became one of those things that I rarely had time to practise in my busy lifestyle. This summer I spent some time before bed doing yoga and meditating, which I felt really helped me clear my head, but despite that, I wouldn’t class it as a huge passion of mine; maybe a fun pastime I occasionally dabble in.
The over-exaggeration of feelings towards an arbitrary thing -in this case, yoga- feel like a common theme running throughout personal statements in general. I feel like there’s a pressure to always be fervently obsessed with something as opposed to seeking casual entertainment from it. I’m a little disappointed I fed into it too, but what good would it have done me to point out that “I sometimes enjoy a bit of yoga, but not too frequently or too intensely.”
[A hobby is necessary to] sustain a work-life balance and avoid burnout
This is a truth that I should’ve listened to myself about. I feel like all throughout first year of uni, I didn’t let myself enjoy anything beyond a very minor interest. Everything that I enjoyed, I kind of boxed off in my mind and told myself I’d do more of it over summer. What kind of life are you living if you don’t actively pursue more of the stuff you enjoy? It’s only been recently that I’ve come to this conclusion and I’m adamant to not let my studies get in the way of my interests this year.
It’s all well and good doing well academically, but there really has to be a balance, or you end up burnt out halfway through the year with no desire to study again.
[I have learned to be] reflective about feedback I receive
… yeah, after I cry about it.
[Spotlighting my ability to] use words in a supportive and comforting manner
I mean??? What a roundabout way of saying I’m empathetic and good at communicating?! It’s funny because I seem to remember all my high school writing critique was based on how I take an excessively long route to get to the point and it’s truly been my downfall (well, that, and my overuse of commas, but that’s a can of worms I don’t want to open). Why did anyone who read my personal statement let this slide?
In conclusion, this personal statement was written at a tumultuous and strange point in my life where I was in a very weird state of mind. I’ve spoken about how my sixth form/college years were among the least enjoyable of my education, and here I was trying to write a piece on why this career was surely the right one for me, when I didn’t know if it really was. I guess what I’m trying to get at here is that it’s okay to be unsure about where you’re at and where you’re going, as much as the institutions around you will try to persuade you that it’s not. Sure, I spewed some straight-up rubbish in my personal statement (haven’t we all?), but isn’t it enough to celebrate that I’m here? I feel content that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be right now.
Thanks for reading, I am wishing you all the best of luck with whatever it is that you’re dealing with in your lives, and I hope you can find peace with yourselves.
Much love from me, forever and always.